Let me tell you about my mental/emotional state...I'm good. No really. Not I'm good (wink, wink), or I'm good (with my fingers crossed behind my back). I'm really good.
This isn't to say that I'm not a little anxious, or concerned about the future, but really--I'm good.
There are a million things that I'm processing through right now though--which takes me through lots of different emotions:
- I'm trying to find out what I may be good at (in case another ministry door doesn't open)
- What I wasn't good at (that I need to improve on in case another ministry door DOES open)
- How to remain calm in the middle of confusion and frustration
- How to show my children that being faithful and obedient sometimes means struggle
- That the church is the place we run TOWARD when in times of difficulty, not AWAY FROM
I have to say though, that at the end of it all, Michelle and I have peace. Genuine peace. I'm not talking about the 'pat on the back, it'll all be okay' kind of peace offered by a passerby when told of the news that your world is collapsing. I mean the 'God of the universe, peace that passes my understanding of the current situation kind of peace'. And it's awesome. I wish that I could describe it to you.
Some have commented (when I discussed this with them privately) that I'm committing career suicide. That no church board, or church leader will even pick up my resume if I quit before having another ministry job. That bummed me out...until I realized that God continually calls us to suicide daily (the day to day death of self) anyway. So I figured "what difference would it make if I just gave up the management of my career to the Lord?"
So...here we are. Day two of my unemployment--it is well with my soul...for now.
1 comment:
Hey Dale,
Hope you hang in there.
God is good and has been good to me and my family.
He will always be good to you as well. He despises the proud and gives graciously to the humble.
Never forsake him or his word as he will never forsake you. Remain obedient to every ounce of his word and you will be blessed.
He confides in those who seek him humbly.
****
I'm not here to beat you up, just encourage you. The road to deliverance is long and hard.
I know you've had a rough couple of years. God is testing you.
Things have been good for me so no worries here.
- I have joined CEF and teach children weekly at FHES.
- I have gone to Africa on mission for two weeks to help lead out a pastors conference.
- I have lead out at a VBS.
- I am teaching marriage counseling at NMC.
- I have been asked to help out on Sunday's preaching for the lead pastor who has been sick.
God has opened doors. He is good.
I will continue to pray for you as I have for the last year or so.
Sometimes I have bouts with bitterness for I am human. I miss you guys and wish things went and were different between us.
I remember the times we would hang at Starbucks. I remember all too well visiting nearly daily in the hospital.
Hey bud, Be strong, remain faithful and stay obedient to the word. Don't compromise anything.
God is serious about obedience. Remember in Ezra where the women and children from impure marriages are rounded up and hauled off? He is very serious. Even more so for the pastoral types.
He knows its hard. They killed His Son, what do you think Satan will do to you?
You take care and remember God's love is not an emotion. So it will not feel all warm and fuzzy. Even in the midst of your visit to the dessert He is with you.
If you need to get a hold of me I'm at GuitarParts@PickersParts.com
Say hi to Austin. I miss his rosy cheeks and big smile.
Love
Jose
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